my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Randomize
