He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Randomize
