i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
found the other keg... it's in the tree
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Randomize
