Banned from zoo.
Again?
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize
