Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Say something about gay babies.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
