I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
