question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
as a side note pls kill me
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
