dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
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