ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize
