i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
