You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
