shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
