I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
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