On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize
