so that wasnt chicken after all
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
