nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Never underestimate the power of titties
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
