If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
