If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
