Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
