Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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