Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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