Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
The feeling are messing with the penis
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Randomize