yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I just want nice things and good sex
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
