You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
