He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Randomize
