i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Randomize