I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
