I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Randomize