I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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