Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
