I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
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