normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Randomize
