so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
