If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize