Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
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