Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
