Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
