He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I have aggressive nipples.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
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