i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Randomize
