where does the pee come out of this thing
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
