I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
