Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
