I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
