I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
