guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
