the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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