AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
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