Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Randomize
