When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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