she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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