dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
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