I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Your cock deserves a montage
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
