i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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