After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
