You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Randomize
