So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
