Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
