I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Randomize
