i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
