I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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