ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Mom said you looked used
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
