Dual....:-)
You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
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