So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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