New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Randomize
