I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Randomize
