also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
