Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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