i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Randomize
